Silly Old Angel
by imnotokaywiththerunning
Summary: "Why exactly did you have to bring me to this God-forsaken country?" "It's America, angel. It's the very opposite of God-forsaken if you believe the hype." or Crowley takes Aziraphale to Disney World.


**A/N: **I couldn't stop thinking about how Neil Gaiman said that Azirapahle has all of the Winnie the Pooh books memorized.

* * *

"Crowley," Aziraphale whined for the hundredth time (not that Crowley was counting) since they had stepped off the plane at the airport. "Why in Heaven's name did you have to bring me to this God-forsaken country?"

"It's America, angel. The very opposite of God-forsaken if you believe the hype," Crowley answered easily as he swerved through traffic in their rented Dodge Viper. He zipped between lanes at random, riding the high of the surrounding drivers' frustration. He grinned maniacally. Satan, but he loved America.

"As an angel, I think I might have _some_ idea of what places are and are not God-forsaken," Aziraphale said primly. But his haughty confidence was undermined by his less than dignified yelp and white-knuckled grip on the dash as Crowley crossed four lanes at once. "Crowley! Do slow down! I refuse to be eaten by one of those infernal crocodiles!"

Crowley looked at Aziraphale thoughtfully for a long moment. (The rented car knew well enough to keep itself on the road.) "I don't think they have crocodiles here. It's...caimans or something...I don't know, but not crocodiles. And they definitely aren't infernal."

"Watch the road, please!" Aziraphale shouted jabbing a finger at the windshield. He huffed at Crowley's full-body eye roll. "Where exactly are we going anyway?"

"I've told you," Crowley began for the hundredth time (alright, he was counting), "it's a surprise, angel."

"And here I thought romanticism was dead," Aziraphale deadpanned.

Crowley sighed, "Can't you just enjoy the ride? We're almost there anyway." He pointed to a large sign along the side of the road. "That's our exit."

"Crowley," Aziraphale began calmly, turning in his seat to look directly at the demon. "Please, tell me we are not going where I think we are."

Crowley grinned over at him. "What? You mean, you don't want to go to the most magical place in the world?"

Behind them, a fifteen car pile-up stopped traffic for hours. Aziraphale felt guilty about the lost biscuit he'd thrown at Crowley's head.

* * *

Crowley stood placidly in line beside Aziraphale as he dithered over the menu of yet another food stand. Aziraphale had made them stop at almost every one. Crowley didn't mind. He got to drag the angel on all the rides in compensation. It'd been a surprise that the roller coasters were among Aziraphale's favorites. Or maybe not. He was an angel and angels did fly on occasion, didn't they? Crowley frowned.

"Alligators!" he said stopping Aziraphale's self-debate over waffles or funnel cakes.

"What?"

"Alligators," Crowley said again. "That's what they've got here. Not crocodiles." He shrugged at Azirapahle's confused frown. "So you can't get eaten by a crocodile even if you wanted to."

"Actually," a young voice interrupted, "America has both alligators and crocodiles. It's just that the American crocodile is more rare because they only live in the ocean while alligators live in freshwater."

A small girl with bright purple Mickey Mouse ears looked up at them. She had a melting ice cream cone in her hand that she ate while the angel and demon gaped at her. Crowley glanced to Aziraphale. "Is that so?"

"Yep!" she answered gleefully. "We learned about it in school."

"Well, isn't that lovely," Aziraphale said with an awkward smile. Crowley nearly laughed at his inability to deal with children until the angel turned a pointed glare to him. "So it seems I _can_, in fact, be eaten by a crocodile." He turned back to the little girl with a triumphant smile, "Thank you, my dear."

"Say," Crowley said snapping his fingers, "why are you talking to strangers, anyway? Where are your parents?"

"Over there," the little girl said pointing with her ice cream cone. Two tired-looking women sat at a table trying to keep a toddler from smashing his face into a funnel cake. Crowley smirked. "I want to go to see Darth Vader but my parents said we have to look at everything here first," she said rolling her eyes.

"Well, that's very sensible," Aziraphale commented. Crowley did laugh as the little girl mouthed 'sensible' under her breath. The angel's elbow dug into his side. "Perhaps you should go back to your parents now, my dear. Wouldn't want them to worry where you are."

The little girl's face scrunched in a frown, but with a nudge from Crowley, she was skipping back to her parents. Crowley watched them with a smile and then turned back to stand in line again. Aziraphale stepped beside him with a little satisfied wiggle.

"I knew I was right about those crocodiles, my dear," he smirked.

Crowley gasped in outrage. "You did not!"

* * *

Crowley spotted his quarry across the walkway. He grabbed Aziraphale to turn his back to it. It wouldn't do to ruin the surprise now. Not when he'd been waiting for this all day.

"Close your eyes, angel," he demanded.

"Close my eyes?" Aziraphale asked wide-eyed. "Whatever are you on about?"

"Just close your eyes," Crowley pleaded looking over Azirpahle's shoulder to make sure his surprise was still there. He took hold of Azirpahle's jaw to keep him from turning his head to look, too. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you, my dear," Aziraphale said earnestly and then obediently closed his eyes. "I just don't see why I need to keep my eyes closed all of a sudden."

"That's kind of the point," Crowley murmured leading Aziraphale through the crowd. He weaved his way through the mass of families surrounding the character actor hoping to get a photo. Once at the front he waved the great lumbering thing over with a smile. He put a finger to his lips and pointed to Aziraphale whose eyes were still closed. "It's a surprise, but you're his favorite character. He's got all your books memorized." Aziraphale frowned. "You can open your eyes now, angel."

"Oh, Crowley!" Aziraphale exclaimed in genuine delight. Winnie the Pooh stood before him with his arms open wide beckoning the angel in for a hug. He looked between Crowley and Pooh for a moment before giving in and stepping in to hug the yellow bear. Crowley took out his phone and gestured for them to pose for a photo. The angel's smile was almost blinding. Crowley felt his own smile spread across his face answering the angel's happiness.

"Thank you," Aziraphale said waving goodbye to Winnie the Pooh. "And thank you, Crowley," he said linking his arm through Crowley's. He reached over to take the phone out of Crowley's hand and looked at his picture. He grinned. "I know just where to put this back in the bookshop."

Crowley coughed to cover his blush. "So, angel, is America still a God-forsaken country?"

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and pulled Crowley along beside him. "Isn't there somewhere in this park that serves crepes?"

* * *

**A/N:** Listen. Ok. Listen, I just wanted to have Aziraphale meet Winnie the Pooh, but then it kind of got out of hand. It's fine though. It's fine. This is pure self-indulgence and I don't even care. I don't guys. If I did I might actually die of embarrassment. So I don't.

Also, the alligator-crocodile thing is not exactly correct so don't come at me. I know, but kids aren't herpetologists.


End file.
